I was making it really freaking hard. Success. Love. Everything.

I was making it all super fucking hard. I was walking around with a stick up my ass like “omfg why is this not easier?” “Why is the money not coming in?” “Where is all the fucking shit that I want?” “Why are things not manifesting faster?” “Why is my husband not doing anything at all in our joint responsibilities? Why am I not manifesting the money for the things that I want WHEN I want them? Whyyy Whyyy whyy? Why is this all happening?

Just fucking why?

That was me. Yep.

I’m not a perfect being.

You know the weird thing was that when I FIRST started my business, after I got over myself and being scared etc. I actually wasn’t like this.

I was like…hell yeah I’m making sales. I’m doing the thing. I’m relentless and I’m not stopping until I get there.

That meant that I would have certainty, complete fucking certainty until I got there..to the goal that I had. And that’s what I did.

I didn’t back down. I didn’t say, ohh maybe it wasn’t meant for me. I didn’t almost do it and at the last minute give in because I didn’t see evidence that it wasn’t working.

I went all in, EVERY MOMENT, until I saw the thing through. That’s what I did and kept doing.

Until I didn’t. Until I didn’t do that anymore because I started searching for all of the RIGHT ways to do it. I started searching for all of the evidence of why I WASN’T actually good enough or smart enough or resourceful enough to make it happen.

To make the $50K months +.

Then I found some people who told me the way. The way that I followed because again, I didn’t have a lick of trust in myself at this point.

Mind, you…let me freaking remind you that at the BEGINNING I was flying on blind faith, baby. Blind faith. I didn’t know how, or why or what. I just KNEW that I was doing it and that was it. Period. End of story.

THAT IS HOW SUCCESS IS DONE. That is why I saw big money so fast.

Then…I started searching. But not from inside of myself. From OUTSIDE of myself. I started searching for all the things. So I found all the people who had a right way to do it.

And it WAS THEIR right way. It was. It worked for them and it worked well for them. Awesome! But it wasn’t my right way.

There was evidence of that REAL QUICK. From the tanking business, to the what the fuck am I doing feeling, to the absolute dread getting on the calls.

Again, I created ALL OF THIS for myself. This was none of these people’s problem. They were just doing their thing.

I made it hard for myself. Really hard.

And for a while I kept thinking that there was this secret answer or key. I kept being like…when am I going to really figure it out?! As if the universe was withholding something from me.

The constant wavering from “I am powerful. I can manifest anything I want” to…ok, but where is it? What am I doing wrong? What am I missing?

I must not really be meant for this anyway. I don’t belong with THEM. The millionaires of the world. I just don’t.

It’s that shit that keeps you small. Complacent. Scared and exactly where you are.

I always felt that way actually. When I worked in restaurants. When I went out to places where the millionaires were. I felt like I didn’t belong. Like I was different and was going to get found out — that I wasn’t one of them. That I was pretending to be one of them, but that ultimately I was not..definitely not one of them.

Until I started flying on blind faith BELIEVING that I was one of them. I could play with the big dogs and I wouldn’t get hurt. I would actually level up. One up, even.

That was before it all went down. It went down hard. Crash and burn style, almost filing for bankruptcy style, threatening emails from debt collectors style. I let it get bad. Ignoring my responsibility to myself and the world — to actually create my work, keep flying on blind faith, and ALLOWING everything to work out for me.

Instead I succumbed to the fear. The big bad debt fear, the feeling like I was going to die fear, the feeling responsible for killing my dog fear. No I didn’t actually kill my dog. But I didn’t spend as much time with my dog as I wanted and then my dog died while I was at a conference from an undetected illness that I feel I could have maybe treated if I had been more present with him.

But it was all my fault and I felt that responsibly and I carried it with me. Thinking that I really didn’t know what I was doing. Thinking that I really had lost my way and might not be able to get it back or get back on top to where I was.

The silly thing, the hilarious thing, the absolute absurd thing is that it was all just in my brain. Sure, I had created this reality that seemed pretty scary, trusted peoples advice that I shouldn’t have because it wasn’t true for me and went down the fucking rabbit hole of rock bottom no return.

But then I did return. Like a rising phoenix moment. Slowly I returned.

I realize now that it could have been so much easier. It could have been so much easier to just start to trust myself, decide in the certainty that what I desire is literally shooting its way to me at a speed faster than lightening, which is how it all works, or that I could feel love gratitude, happiness, and belonging in the world and THAT is the thing that would fulfill the empty hole I was feeling.

And btw it’s the thing that would bring me all the money and experiences and mentors who literally kick ass and are so amazingly spiritual and human.

The same is true for you.

It could have been so much easier if I had allowed it. If I let it in. If I trusted. Now I know. Now . know for sure.

Sometimes you have to go down the rabbit hole to get to some of the most profound realizations of your life. Sometimes you don’t. It’s all what you choose. It’s all who you choose to be and what you choose to believe is true for you.

Whatever that is, it’s true.

Love you,
Ariel

AUTHOR: ARIEL FREY

Ariel Frey is an intuitive messenger, business mentor and visionary entrepreneur building an empire. She helps you create success from your soul and truly live free. Ariel is the host of the Babies, Biz, Beautiful Life Podcast! It’s packed with divine messages, practical wisdom from a self made multiple 6 figure business owner, and is everything about how to live your most beautiful life. Listen and subscribe here!


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Ariel

I’m Ariel Frey, intuitive messenger, business mentor, and visionary entrepreneur building an empire, living in Chicago, IL with my husband and daughter. Here you’ll find everything you need to know about creating success from your soul and truly living free Read More

Ariel Frey

Success Coach, writer, and all about making a global impact. In 1.5 years I went from working as a server to creating a quarter of a million dollar business.

Now I'm dedicated to helping driven female entrepreneurs like you make more money, have more freedom, and breakthrough to the next level to live your most extraordinary life.

Your gifts are meant to be in the world in a big way!

Let's make it happen now